There is certainly many wrong ways to ask for referrals. A few of them are taught as gospel. Here is a system that works 99% of the time. And it has been field tested in over 12,000 referral selling presentations. 

For my part, I call on retail business owners, but this performs well with consumers as well. 

Don't ask for referred leads until after the buyer has had time to enjoy owning the product offer or service you sold them. You want to get referred leads from enthusiastic buyers. When you talk to the prospect, you want a large amount of the work to already have been done for you. You do not want this to be a cold call. 

I want to be in front of the customer when I ask for referrals. You will see why in a minute. 

The conversation starts with my asking if I can be of any service in any way. Then I ask if the customer has ben happy with my product. I wait until they gush over how happy they are. If this doesn't happen, I don't ask for referrals. Referrals from a person that is less than enthusiastic about you and your offer are practically worthless. 

After the customer tells me about how pleased he is. I ask if he has told any of his business buddies about it. 

That is why I wait to ask for referrals until after the buyer has had a chance to enjoy owning the services and product they acquired from me. I want them to have had a chance to boast to their friends. After the buyer tells me that he has told several buddies about it, I'll write down a few their names. Here are the questions I ask after that; 

"What did your friend say after you told him about your purchase?" 

"What kind of (similar product or service) are they using now?" 

"If you recommended me, would they at least talk to me?" 

"Is there a reason I shouldn't talk to them now?" 

"Who has referred someone to you before?" 

This last one is asked because the prospect now almost has to see me to return the "favor" of referring someone to my customer. 

I want to see someone who; 

1) Knows someone who is excited about owning my product (my customer referring them) 

2) Has said that they may be interested in the future in owning what I sell, or at least willing to talk to me. 

3) Is open to the idea of buying. 

4) Is used to giving referrals 

Now, here is the best part. I want to call the prospect from the customer's phone. There are two reasons for this; 

1) I'll get through immediately, especially if they have caller ID. 

2) The customer will be hearing everything that is said. So the prospect cannot tell a different story of what was said later. 

So I say when call "Hi, this is Claude Whitacre calling from Bob Durbin's office. May I talk to Joe Prospect please?". 

After Joe gets on the phone; "Hi Joe, this is Claude Whitacre. I'm in Bob Durbin's office with Bob. Say ""Hi" Bob. (Bob says "Hi"). Joe, Bob told me that he talked to you about the (product name). He told you that he was very excited about it. Now, I don't know if this is an exact fit for you, but I promised Bob, that I would make an appointment with you to at least show you a couple of ideas that may help you with (problem). While I'm here, can we make a firm appointment in the next few days? I promise not to take much time." 

Then I just keep asking for a time for an appointment. If you don't get an appointment while you are in Bob's office...calling on Bob's phone...you never will. 

Now, why does this work almost every time? Because Bob is in the room. If the prospect says "No" to me, he's kind of saying "No" to Bob too, isn't he? The resistance to the appointment is almost all killed by the presence of Bob. 

I must also say though, that you can only do this with a few names at one time. Bob is going to feel a little put off if you call more than two or three prospects this way at one time. 

But here are a couple of things to remember; 

1) Now Joe is far more likely to both buy and give you referred leads that also buy. 

2) It will be far easier the second time you use this appeal. 

It sounds like a hardball way to prospect, but if you only use it with excited buyers, they will welcome the occasion to let somebody in on they joy of proudly owning what you market.