Every day we’re pressured from all directions to buy and consume more than we need. But we don’t have to give in — especially when we stay conscious of the messages we’re getting.

“Part of being human is having times when you feel kind of hollow inside, kind of empty, and that’s natural,” Kessel says. “But what our money culture has trained us to believe is that if you’re feeling kind of empty, something’s wrong, and something’s wrong with you, and there’s a product or a service out there to take that feeling away.”

That belief system is driven by brain chemistry and ingrained by marketing. We get a rush when we buy something we want; it activates the brain’s reward center and triggers a rush of feel-good dopamine. But as the rush recedes, regret and remorse often roll in, which lead us to make another purchase to avoid discomfort. Experts call this the “hedonic treadmill.”

Using credit cards instead of cash also triggers unconscious money behaviors, explains financial educator Ruth Hayden, author of Your Money Life. As we become an ever-more cashless society, we grow less aware of our spending habits and their consequences.

“People spend more when they’re using something that’s not cash,” she says. “When they’re using a debit card or credit card, they spend somewhere between 30 and 35 percent more, and it can go as high as 42 percent if there’s a reward involved, like miles or cash back or a discount at the store.”

Hayden thinks we need to change the way we interact with money itself, and she recommends these tactics:

• Start saving for retirement now. If you work for a company that matches a certain level of savings, put away at least that much. Acknowledge that this allows you to take control of your money.

• Tuck away a set amount from each paycheck. Even $20 is enough, says Hayden. Keep this money available so you are consciously choosing not to spend it. This allows you to experience the satisfaction of saving.

• Stick to cash instead of plastic whenever possible. “Working with cash on a daily basis keeps people very conscious about money,” Hayden says. “It is the height of mindfulness and money.”

If you’re really dying to buy something, Kessel suggests writing down what you think it will do for you. For example: If I go away this weekend and stay in that great hotel on the beach, I’ll feel super-relaxed with the sun on my skin and I’ll come back rejuvenated and ready to have a productive month.

Then, if you make the purchase, check in on the reality afterward. How did it compare with your inner advertising campaign? This is a deeper way of tracking your spending: It’s qualitative, not just quantitative.

“Then you can start to learn from these spending audits and make some better choices,” Kessel says. “What most of our clients realize is that experiences are much more important than material possessions.”

Purchases that involve other people also tend to offer more lasting satisfaction, so long as they’re not meant to impress or gain approval. Spending motivated by a desire to give joy (like a surprise gift you know a friend wants but won’t buy for herself) or offer relief (a bag of groceries for a neighbor who’s strapped) is going to bring more fulfillment.

Kessel also notes that new habits are more likely to stick if they’re accompanied by a positive feeling. So, when you donate $200 to the victims of a recent hurricane (or to a food pantry or homeless shelter) instead of buying new boots, connect with that warm feeling of generosity. Bask in it.

“That,” he says, “is what’s going to generate your desire to do it the next time. It’s the same as when you buy a great new pair of shoes and get a dopamine rush. That warm feeling from being generous is going to make you want to do it again and again.”