It’s Not What You Can’t Do, But What You Can

Do you find yourself focusing on the things you can’t do and lamenting the fact you can’t do them? Do you wish that you could do some things you enjoy doing better than you can do them? Most of us do have these thoughts and handle them in different ways. Some just continue to do them, whilst others do a course to improve the way they do them. Some people however have approach their thoughts in a different way.

Instead of focusing on what they can’t do, they focus on the things they can do, and work on doing them even better. Maybe you can’t cook a very good baked dinner, but if you can create a wonderful baked cheesecake then let the cheesecake become your signature dessert. If you can’t grow tomatoes in your garden, but you can grow flowers then create a beautiful garden and become known for the flowers you grow there, rather than the tomatoes you can’t grow.

When we focus on perfecting what we are already doing well, we begin to feel good about ourselves. Every day we hear our self-talk telling us conflicting stories. Our friends may praise us for something we have done or the new clothes we are wearing, but we find it impossible to accept that praise graciously and without making an excuse for it. Our negative self-talk will often speak louder than the words of our friends. Focusing on the things we know we are good at, will help our positive self-talk to say things to us that we will believe and will help our overall self-esteem.

Take time this week to enjoy and appreciate the things you are good at, and particularly the ones you believe you can do well. Take advice from your partner or your friends if you are not sure where your strengths lie. Enjoy focusing your time and energy on helping the good become the best and then enjoy your achievements. Allow yourself to enjoy comments and appreciation of your work.

You may feel uncomfortable about accepting praise about the good things you do personally, but to put it in perspective, remember how we feel when we receive a word of praise at work? . Accepting praise for the things we are good at, with ease and sincere gratitude is an important step towards a strong and healthy positive self-image.