We often come across people who just hate their circumstances. They can complain all day long.

“If only this would happen, then I’d be happy!”

“If only these things didn’t happen in my past, then I’d be happy!”

“If I had better education, I’d earn more money!”

“Why me!” “Why me!” “Why me!”

But such people don’t deserve our contempt. They need help. They need guidance. They need a news flash that says “Your whining is not helping you. So you might as well try something different.”

If you find yourself complaining often, here are some practical ideas that will help you rise above the negativity and instead drive you towards successful living.

1. Know that complaining is the easy way out. 

There are people such as Nicholas James Vujicic who, despite losing all their limbs, can still find enormous meaning in their lives.

But how? They focus their energy on creating positive things. Their strength lies in their mind.

If you’re complaining, understand that you’re taking the easy way out. Isn’t it easy to just sit back and whine, instead of fighting adversity? Of course, it is! And this isn’t to show that you’re worthless. But once your mind knows that complaining is worthless, it’ll change its ways.

Understand that nobody is born lucky in this world. A talented person can either choose to destroy themselves with drugs and over-indulgence, or they can use their talent to realize their dreams. It’s all about decisions. Decide to change your focus! Just decide!

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2. Stop identifying with negative thoughts. 

We often identify with all the negative thoughts that go through our head. We need to understand that we are not our negative thoughts. Thoughts come and go. They are illusory. Stop identifying with them and let them pass.

If you can’t let them pass, then fight. When the negative thoughts arise, you need to engage with them. Challenge them. If your mind tells you out of nowhere that “you’re stupid”, you need to say “No, if I was stupid, I’d have not achieved XYZ”. Don’t accept your thoughts without scrutiny. Engage and disarm them!

But some thought patterns are consistent and seem infallible. In that case, change your magnetic poles.

3. Change the poles of your magnet.

This is a major step toward becoming a positive person. You might get rid of your temporary negative thoughts by engaging with them. But if the negative thoughts are consistent, you need to attack the pattern. See the negativity as an opportunity for change. Ask yourself, “What is at the root of this negative thought pattern?”

So if you find that you’re tired and sick of your job, you need a career change! Start filling in job applications. Or if you’re tired of your relationship, it’s time to be clear about your needs with your partner.

Things such as a bad relationship or a soul-sucking job act as poles of a magnet. They attract negativity like a magnet attracts iron filings. Recognize the pattern and change the affinity.

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4. Become action-oriented. 

People tend to live in their heads when they become complacent. “I don’t have this”, “I can’t have that”. You must get out of your head and take action.

With action, you open a new stream of possibilities. Without it, you’ll be stuck in the same old pattern of complaining, manifesting negative things and complaining some more.

You don’t need to move mountains. Just take the smallest step. The greatest thing that motivates us is progress. Small steps taken over a period of time will change your reality in a substantial way.

As you finish reading this article, ask yourself, “What lies at the root of my negativity? What small step can I take to change it?”.