When you go to the doctor you probably have no problem asking about the tension headaches that have been bothering you lately, your flagging energy level or that lingering muscle ache from last month’s singles match. But how willing are you to bring up bedroom concerns? If you’re like a lot of women, intimacy issues aren’t the simplest thing to discuss with your doctor. But you might be inspired to finally broach the topic when you learn that there’s plenty that can be done to resolve women’s sexual concerns and intimacy issues, many of which are grouped under the name female sexual dysfunction.

If you’re fortunate, your doctor will make the conversation easy on you. “I always bring it up with women because there are lots of suggestions and solutions we can offer,” says Nicola Finley, M.D.,  physician. “I encourage women to consider that there are so many issues that could be playing a role in their sexuality and sex lives.”

That’s why we find that a whole-body, integrative approach that combines mind, body and soul can be particularly effective for women struggling to reclaim their sex lives. To get back to a place where you enjoy being physically and emotionally intimate, consider this advice:

MOVE SEX UP ON THE LIST. “Prioritizing intimacy in our busy lives is probably the first step,” Dr. Finley says. While this might mean scheduling date nights or booking a romantic getaway once in a while, it can also be as simple as making an effort to be more aware—and receptive—of your partner’s cues. It could also help to have a discussion with your partner about both of your physical likes and dislikes, even if you’ve been together for some time. “Opening up the lines of communication is very important,” Dr. Finley says.

PRACTICE MINDFULNESS. Being more aware can be a big help in the bedroom. After all, it’s a lot harder for good sex to happen when you’re thinking about how your partner thinks you look or when you’re mentally running through what you need to get done the next day. “Mindfulness is the idea of not thinking about what happened in the past or worrying about what’s going to happen in the future, but just being present,” Dr. Finley says.

One way to practice mindfulness during sex is by engaging your senses—smell, touch, hearing, sight and taste—and gently bringing your thoughts back to them when they drift off.

EXERCISE FOR YOUR LIBIDO. Not only does physical activity get the blood flowing (yep, to all body parts) and give you more energy, it can also simply make you feel sexier. “It’s part of the whole mind-body connection,” Dr. Finley explains. “I encourage my patients to consider dancing, because it helps some women feel good about moving their bodies.”

Exercise can also boost your mood—which may put you in the mood—and there’s evidence showing that it can counter sexual dysfunction in people who take antidepressants. “I think of exercise as medicine for sexual difficulties,” Dr. Finley says.

EMPLOY A FEW TOYS. Sex toys may seem taboo, but they can amp up the excitement and help you feel satisfied. “Some women are not able to achieve orgasm with vaginal intercourse; after all, our erectile tissue is in the clitoral area, so many of us need clitoral stimulation,” Dr. Finley explains. “I have a bag of tricks, as I call it, in my office. I pull out some of my ‘toys’ and I talk to patients about trying them.” If you don’t feel comfortable browsing and buying them in a store, consider shopping online.

RECONSIDER YOUR RELAXERS. A cigarette may seem like the best ways to unwind before love-making, but it can also backfire. Cigarettes impair blood flow, which can lead to difficulty becoming aroused.

DON’T ENDURE DRYNESS. “There are lots of options for vaginal lubricants and longer-acting moisturizers, and if someone is post-menopausal, there’s also vaginal estrogen,” Dr. Finley says. “If a woman’s main menopause symptom is vaginal dryness or atrophy, vaginal estrogen is an approach.” A very small amount of the hormone is absorbed by the body.

DISCUSS ESTROGEN SUPPLEMENTATION. Many post-menopausal women find that hormone therapy helps their libido. You may want to give supplemental hormones a try if you and your doctor think it’s right for you. You can learn more about the pros and cons of post-menopausal estrogen supplementation at our article Considering Hormone Replacement Therapy.

SWITCH UP YOUR DEPRESSION MEDS. If you’re taking an antidepressant and it’s affecting your libido, it may be worth asking your physician if you can try another drug. You can discuss switching to an antidepressant that’s less likely to cause sexual dysfunction.

SEE A SPECIALIST. If you’re experiencing pelvic pain and you’re not finding adequate relief, it may be time to see a women’s pelvic floor physical therapist. Therapy might include exercises emphasizing posture, biomechanics and correcting any muscle imbalances, as well as learning relaxation techniques to help relieve pain.

TALK ABOUT IT. “Being able to share your story is really important,” Dr. Finley says, whether that’s with your partner, in individual therapy, couples therapy, sex therapy or with your OB/GYN or primary care physician. “What I always tell women is to feel good about taking control and being able to talk to their partner about what they’re going through,” she adds. “Many times, especially as we age, we might need more time for foreplay to be able to enjoy intimacy. So it’s a question of our partners being aware that we need them to be gentle and patient.”

A NOTE ABOUT TESTOSTERONE THERAPY IN WOMEN

Testosterone supplementation is in the news these days as a possible libido-booster for women. “Testosterone may impact a woman’s libido—if you talk to women who’ve used it, they say it helps their sex drive,” Dr. Finley says. However, it’s not approved by the Food & Drug Administration for this use, and the long-term side effects in women who are taking the male hormone are still unknown. It’s important, therefore, to have a conversation with your doctor about the possible risks, and to make sure your testosterone levels are being monitored if you do choose to supplement.

Ultimately, what works best to help you feel sexual and enjoy your intimate life more may be very different what helps someone else. “There are lots of avenues, so I like to give women a lot of tools in their toolbox,” Dr. Finley says. “Try one tool. If that doesn’t work, try another.”

And, finally, remember that you and your partner are free to define a “great sex life” any way you like. “You can be happily married and not be intimate or not have intercourse, for example,” Dr. Finley says. “It’s only a concern if sexual dysfunction is causing you or your partner distress.”